I have learned that the quality of a performance is often a matter of perception. Be it taking in a concert or considering my own performances as a musician, I find my perception often varies greatly from those around me. This was very clear to me this past weekend.

My family and I traveled to Baltimore for my cousin’s wedding. It was a small, outdoor event and I was asked to play acoustic guitar before and during the ceremony. My cousin requested a number of traditional classical pieces I had either never played or not attempted to play in many years, and in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I found learning them quite challenging. The day of the wedding, I reminded myself that just because I wasn’t performing the pieces up to what I considered a concert standard, the people at this wedding would never know the difference. It was cold that afternoon, my hands were stiff, and I certainly hoped this was the case.

Throughout the wedding, I was well aware of every mistake I made. I even forgot part of one of the songs and improvised until I could remember what came next, hoping and praying no one would notice or find it distracting. When it was over, I talked to various members of my family, including my wife who frequently hears me play the guitar, and they all had kind, encouraging things to say. None of them held my performance to the same standard that I did, and honestly, they probably enjoyed hearing the music more than I enjoyed playing it. I was caught up in the technicalities; they were caught up in the event.

I found myself wondering what it would take for me to let go and give in to the atmosphere of the event. Tomorrow, I’m going to dig a little deeper into that idea.